Decision Making
Decision Making

8 Worst Mistakes That Ruin Relationships

Relationships are challenging. Relationships also come with a lot of ego sensitivity. Even the most laid-back individuals can get quite dramatic when it comes to relationship issues.

The prospect of rejection can make people do crazy things. There’s no doubt that relationships are sometimes very challenging to navigate.

Avoid these common mistakes that ruin relationships:

  1. Attempting to change the other person. If you’ve ever tried to lose weight or get yourself to do something you don’t want to do, you know how challenging it can be to change. It’s 10 times harder to change another person. Expect that your partner will never change. Assuming you can mold them into something you can live with is foolish.

  2. Avoiding confrontation at all costs. Some things aren’t worth arguing about. The things that really bother you are worth addressing. Otherwise, how will the situation ever improve? You’re setting yourself up to be annoyed, hurt, or frustrated on a daily basis for the rest of your life. Hard talks are necessary from time to time.

  3. Not maintaining enough distance from your ex. Your ex might still be your friend. You might even share children together. But there’s a limit to what your current partner should have to deal with. Late-night, semi-intimate texts are out of line.

  4. Focusing on the negative. Take a few minutes each day to jot down those things you appreciate about your partner. You’ll find that you feel more positive about your partner. Interestingly, they haven’t changed. You have.

  5. Failing to communicate your needs. Some believe men don’t want to communicate. Many women think men should be able to read their minds. Neither is an effective way to manage a relationship. Take responsibility for your relationship and your happiness by communicating clearly.

  6. Failing to take care of yourself. Men and women are both guilty of this. A relationship is no reason to stop going to the gym or to start wearing your pajama bottoms to the store. As shallow as it may seem, part of the reason you fell in love with each other was based on your appearances. Take as much pride in your appearance today as you did in the past.

  7. Moving too quickly. Relationships have a better chance for survival if they’re eased into. When a relationship moves too quickly, there’s one partner that’s at least a little uncomfortable with the pace. Avoid rushing and enjoy the process.

  8. Failing to give your partner space. You have a life together. You also have separate lives. Allow each other the space to breathe. You don’t have to be joined at the hip 24/7.

An intimate relationship can add a lot of value to your life. However, that value doesn’t come cheaply. They can take up a lot of mental space and create negative emotions. Relationships are challenging, but many of those challenges can be prevented by avoiding the most common relationship mistakes.

If you’ve had relationship mishaps in the past, ensure that you’re not making any of these common mistakes. A few, small changes could make all the difference.

How to Use God to Crush Your Goals

Many Christians believe that pursuing their goals goes against certain Christian beliefs and counteracts whatever plan God has in store for us. On the contrary – Scriptures encourage us to pursue our goals and achieve success.

Consider these passages from the Bible:

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

1 Chronicles 4:10 “Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, ‘Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.’ And God granted his request.”

The Promise of God

In Jeremiah, God tells you there is a plan for you: a wonderful and amazing plan. It’s a plan for success and joy.

Where did God plant that plan? In your heart, of course! God has given you the desire to succeed and manifest His work in this world.

The question is, “How do you find that plan?”

Since God planted the plan in your heart, look in your heart. Look prayerfully.

Try these strategies to discover this plan:

  1. What is your passion? Your passion holds the dreams which God planted in your heart. Follow your passion.
  2. Are you pushing it away? Is there something niggling in the back of your mind you’re trying to avoid? Bring it to the forefront. Look at it clearly. This may contain God’s plan for you that your ego wants to avoid. Your ego is that part of you that wants your will, not God’s.
  3. The “What then?” trick. Ask yourself, “Once I achieve that goal, what then would I want?” Keep asking “what then” until you have this deep ah-ha experience that says, “That’s it. That’s the ultimate plan for my life.”

Trust in God’s Promise

God’s not going to give you the entire plan at once.

After all, you might get scared if you discovered God wanted you to begin a world-wide coaching business that would require writing three books a year for the next 10 years, managing a staff of 100 people, and others being jealous of you or speaking untruths about you.

God doesn’t seem to write with straight lines. The path may meander about, especially when you interject your own will. God then re-writes the path and you’re set again.

The key is trusting that God has everything in hand, even when you can’t see more than 10 feet in front of you.

The Prayer of Jabez

Once you know the direction you’re going, even if you only know the first step or two, let God know you’re ready.

Consider these ideas found in the story of Jabez:

Jabez asked God to “bless me and enlarge my territory.”  You can ask God to:

  • Bless you with the wisdom, knowledge, and resources needed to accomplish His plan for you.
  • Bless your business, so it expands in every way according to God’s will for you.

Then Jabez requested, “Let your hand be with me…”

  • Ask God to guide and direct you, to inspire you, and let you know each succeeding step.
  • Tell God that you’ll listen to His messages to you. Stay in communication with God through prayer.

Lastly, Jabez asked, “…keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain. “

  • Ask for God’s protection in every area of your life – for you, your family, and your business.
  • Implied in your request is that your actions will be according to God’s word.

Then, we’re told that God granted his request

God promised through Jeremiah that He has plans for you: “… plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

When you’re living God’s plan for you and asking for assistance, the goals you set will be according to that plan. Your goals are God’s goals for you. You can crush those goals and all your future ones as well.